Tender Mercies

There are joys in the life of a Christian that cannot be measured. The world finds happiness, for a time, in earthly things like wealth and the praise of men. How unbelievably lucky am I to have been given a joy that moth and rust cannot corrupt.

Sunday morning our pastor preached on forgiveness. It didn't really strike me as a monumental moment to hear that sermon. I knew inside there was hidden resentment but I figured I had already attempted to deal with it the best I knew how and there wasn't much else I could do. God allowed satan to try me after that sermon, and try me hard he did. (Oh the fury that must burn through that vile being, when he watches God use every wicked scheme for His great purpose.)

I read the children's version of "Hinds Feet on High Places" twice last week. I didn't expect a book I read to my children to have such an impact on me. Now I know the Lord used those characters, Sorrow and Suffering, to prepare me for the last few days.

One of the metaphors used in the book I have also read time and time again in my Bible. It was the purifying of gold in a furnace. I felt that very process today. I've never really broken it down step by step before but when I do I see the amazing grace of God.

When the trial begins and the mixture is first put to the flame, for a time it is still bonded together. The fire at this point is an intruder, imposing itself on this bond of gold and other metals. It is disruptive. It is sorrow and suffering that aren't welcome. But the longer the heat is applied the more the dynamic changes. As the heat bonds with the gold, the other metals separate.

I saw myself tonight as that gold. Heat fully bonded to my soul, pushing all that bitterness to the surface. That is the most painful part. The fire no longer hurts, it's the weight of that unwanted metal sitting on top. That is the continuing grace of God right there. To make me the kind of woman that would plead more to be rid of the weight of that bitterness than she ever wanted rid of the fire.

Those are the tender mercies of God. No, it doesn't seem tender, and I've sat here and contemplated long and hard about how to explain it, but the love of my Father defies all explanation.

I don't think the metal He skims off the top is thrown out. I think once the impurities are separated from me, He fashions them into tools and hands them back. These are my treasures. They are far beyond anything of worth this world could offer me.

My heart aches for those of you who will never hold these gifts from your creator, and never be the gold He would have you to be.

Thy gentleness hath made me great. Psalm 18:35